In The Mourning
by Leannan
Summary: A conversation between a Grief Stricken Michonne and Rick. After the episode Welcome to the Tombs


_And my heart's beating like a steamboat tugging_

 _all your burdens_

 _On my shoulders_

 _In the mourning I'll rise_

 _In the mourning I'll let you die_

 _In the mourning. All my worry._

 _-_ Paramore, In the Mourning

 **In the Mourning**

The grave feeling followed Rick as he entered the truck. It hadn't left since Lori's death.  
That swimming feeling in the pit of his stomach, a dread in his chest. What was the word for that? It was painful, emotional, and most of all physically exhausting no matter how many lives were lost.  
 _Grief_

He wouldn't wish it on his worse enemy. He definitely knew the woman next to him in the truck can identify with the pain she had just went through.

The sun was rising through the clouds, peeking through and casting a bright reflection on the rearview mirror.

He listened quietly to the sniffles next to him, unsure what he should do. With Lori it was easy for him to wrap her in his arms. Even with Carol it was simple to do just that.  
Michonne, he had welcomed a few hours before in their family. And she had just lost someone.  
And he had lost someone.  
Daryl lost someone.

Is there even a way to help someone you barely know? Was there an etiquette to this? To touch or not to touch? To bid condolences?

They were in a world now where everyone had one thing in common. Death.

He reached over her suddenly, distracted by her silent cries and by his sudden movements. She stilled, pulled in a sharp intake of air, but relaxed when she realized Rick opened the glove department above her knee.  
"Thanks." Her voice rasped, when he gave her a kleenex.  
"Of course."  
They sat in dead silence, Rick watched from afar as Tyrese, the man he met in his insanity, Sasha and Daryl loaded the bus with Woodbury residents.

After the discovery and death of Andrea. They searched for the Governor, but was only met with a confused and torn community. Rick had decided, with the new members Sasha and Tyreese, to take the elders, children and defenseless women into the prison.

Michonne in particular paid no mind as to whether or not he should take in the residents. Her only vice was finding the man who did this to her friend.

"I'm sorry. I know you two were close." Rick quickly glanced at her, checked to see if she listened.  
Michonne nodded silently when she sensed his stare.

He decided not to press on, he tapped his fingers against his thigh, knowing that even just being there was enough.

"I should have...made sure she stayed with me. That day she came back." Rick clenched his jaw, listened to her accusations.

"Or I should have went with Meryl." She inhaled then, the tears coming faster, her chest caved in.  
"Maybe if I had went to the governor. It would have been different. She would have still been alive-"  
"Don't." Michonne turned to see Rick, his blue eyes mirrored the same sadness and lost in hers, but something else laced his expression. She could only define it as guilt.

"Don't…" Rick repeated, softly this time. She understood then what that guilt was that he felt.

Countless minutes of silence filled the car, the heat radiating through the vents to warm them from the crisp fall air.

Finally Rick decided to speak.

"When my wife, when it happened. I do nothing but blame myself. How should have been a better father, how I shouldn't have let people in..." Rick's eyes followed the group outside once more, imagining that he was talking to himself.

"How I should have…" He stopped himself before he said too much, Michonne grasped his unspoken words. She understood that saying something won't change anything.  
Rick laughed under his breath.

"Look what I'm doing now...letting more in…" He leaned forward, his arm on the steering wheel.

" I guess we can only move forward. Live it day by day. As cliche as it sounds."  
Michonne sighed, she could never understand what that truly was, living.

Michonne could only feel the anger and sadness sweep her bones, tear at her soul. Something she hadn't felt since….

It wasn't something she would call living. But if the anger and the bloodlust she felt for the Governor was living at this moment. She was alive.

"Do you still see people?" She asked softly. Rick remembered then, her connection with seeing the dead. More than just the walkers, but spirits of loved ones just the manifestation of their loss.

Rick gave a slight nod.  
"Hopefully it'll stop." Rick said , he watched Daryl signal to him they were ready to head back.

"It will." She answered giving Rick some hope in this saddened moment.

"I'm going to start looking for him once the wood-bury residents are settled. I'm going to find him. Kill him."  
Rick started driving, as he tried to work through the next words he was going to say to her.  
"When I said you were one of us...I meant it." He turned on the road, checked the rear view mirror to see Daryl on his motorcycle, and the Bus following.

"I understand why you have to do it. I do. I just want you to be safe." Rick Continued, then stopped as he took a quick glance of her face. Just to make sure she understood his words.

Michonne made eye contact with Rick just, and turned her body towards her window. Planning to stay quiet for the rest of the way back.  
Dread followed him then, he wasn't looking forward for Michonne when she was out there, trying to track such a dangerous man like the Governor. But he understood the need for violence, the need to finish what had started.  
He didn't understand the heavy feeling of worry that he had for a woman he just met.

End.

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
